“Accept that you are a work in progress, both a revision and a draft: you are better and more complete than earlier versions of yourself, but you also have work to do. Be open to change. Allow yourself to be revised.”
Maggie Smith, Keep Moving
This is my second year opting for a New Year’s theme over a resolution. I can’t really fail at a theme, and it’s open to interpretation. At worst, I forget about it, which tends to happen around March, and that’s okay. An intention was set nonetheless, and it’s there percolating somewhere in my subconscious. As the year starts winding up and ‘best of’ lists begin appearing, I revisit it. And sometimes what I thought it meant in the beginning and how I understand it at the end has changed.
“Everything is practice” was my theme for 2022. As I aim to be more embodied (and get out of my head!), ‘everything is practice’ felt right for someone working on doing over thinking (as opposed to being, which is something for another day.) Everything is practice is a reminder that each day I can make the choice to do or not do, to show up or not, to try or not. It is both easy and hard. But there is no arrival, there is no perfection.
“practice is holy” — adrienne maree browne
A no-fail attitude is good because I did start and abandon a few practices this year. The first was to read poetry every day. I love poetry, but my reading of it is haphazard. I wanted to choose a few poets whose work I admire and read their entire catalogue from start to finish. I made it through The Collected Poems of Audre Lorde. I also read a few collections (but not all) of Mary Oliver’s work. But it was too academic. I just went back to relying on serendipity, and maybe that’s the best way for me to enjoy poetry.
The other practice was to follow Austen Kleon’s lead and create a commonplace book where I recorded a quotation a day. I knew this would challenge me and so tried to make it as low-stakes as possible. Sometimes that meant I saved quotations on my phone or I printed them off instead of writing by head. I would fall behind and try to catch up, but eventually it got to to be too much. The last entry is from mid-August, around the time I started my job. But I am still grateful the 6 months worth I collected.
One practice I do maintain is a morning Tarot pull that I began before we left Colorado. Many days, I do it and don’t think about it again. Like who knows what the Page of Cups or Seven of Swords has to do with anything? But occasionally, a particular card keeps showing up, or something feels particularly on point. And mid-summer, I also began practicing a new relationship with alcohol. After years of drinking wine most evenings, I have switched to only an occasional glass.
‘Everything is practice’ reminds me that much of what matters is rooted in small, consistent acts. It’s true for many areas of my life including gardening, parenting, working as a counsellor, and just generally trying to be a good person. I will carry the wisdom of “everything is practice” with me into 2023.
I struggled for a while to come up with a good theme for 2023. Stretch, abundance, limber, and attention were contenders. What I’ve landed on is the rather prosaic ‘keep going.’ It feels like the last few years I’ve planted a lot of good seeds. Now I need to keep tending them. (Like this newsletter, which is a practice in fighting my self-doubt as much as it is about self expression.) So it seems like staying the course is the theme for 2023. I will keep going.